This post will be continueing along with the train of thought that I had with the post below it. These are more raw journal entries than anything else. Take 'em or leave 'em. Wanted to add a little more personal stuff to it.
Still need to edit and clean these up. Too tired at this point, ten hour shifts beat my brain into oblivan....
Update 12/4/09
There is no award for short-sightedness when it comes to relationships; any relationships, work, intimate, or anything in between. It’s easy to perceive a direction that a relationship is going in that specific moment. She doesn’t call you, it’s bad. She doesn’t text you – was she not that into me? A disparaging look, or a cold tone, and you ask yourself, “What happened to the smile?” It breeds a lot of questions, and the thought, “so, that was it?” crosses my mind. Can’t see passed the disappointment and fill the time pouting.
The horse blinders become apparent when people start showing me that I was wrong. They show me that they still enjoy my company, and I can revel in the feelings that come with being wanted once again. The disappoint that was so strong the moment before is quickly forgotten.
Update 12/5/09
I point out the fact that I work two jobs and attend college full time not to brag or fashion some kind of crutch. Well, okay, I’ll admit I use it a bit as a crutch, but whatever. The point is that I’m busy. This makes it difficult to be social. Changing out of work clothes and switch gears.
It hurts when I wish to spend time and energy on anything other than my core responsibilities. Which isn’t unique to me, most adults have to cram as much crap into their day to get by- to get what they want. What to do about this other than down an energy drink, and follow your friends?
It’s not always that easy, and I find myself quite often driving home instead of driving anywhere else. I want sleep, to get one more assignment done, and scrounge up something to eat; in that order of importance.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Generalizations.
Statistics show that most violent crimes reported are committed by males, especially abuse, sexual and otherwise. (The gap between the genders in this statistics are decreasing)
I point this out in order to give some perspective.
In conversations with various women, there are certain generalizations that in one form or another are given. "Men are pigs, men are always thinking about sex, men will use whatever they can think of to manipulate their way into some "chick's" pants."
There seems to be some credence to these generalizations, but don't hold this against someone before there is reason. Certainly, people need to act on red flags, but not on paranoia or previous grievances (easier said than done). Not all of the male gender warrant having such generalizations applied to them. Not all are manipulative, liars, and other disparaging labels.
As someone who has been privy to women's stories of abuse (during childhood or as an adult), it crosses my mind when developing a relationship, that the individual may have had some level of abuse or negative situations occur. It also crosses my mind that I have an uphill battle to break their view of men that has been ruined by some sack-of-shit-of-a-man. There are stereotypes that I need to break.
There are opportunities that I've turned down, or shied away from in order to avoid "being that guy". Walking away (not easy) in order to prove to them and myself that sex isn't all that I'm about. That I haven't developed some level of connection in order to get a quick "hit n' run".
This has also blown up in my face. It has resulted in the individual thinking that they are undesirable, or that there is something wrong with me. Maybe making them infer that I lack confidence or that I'm too nervous or scared to act when an invitation of physical connection has been given. It creates confusion, resulting in killing the mood, and damaging their view of me.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this, and still trying to work this out in my head.
I'm trying to get this off my chest and thus may not make much sense. This also contains quite a few assumptions on my part, and acknowledge my ignorance in the various areas of this topic.
I'll be editing and adding to this soon. It's something that I wish to delve into, and for others to consider and respond (even though I have nil readers).
Thanks for reading and commenting.
I point this out in order to give some perspective.
In conversations with various women, there are certain generalizations that in one form or another are given. "Men are pigs, men are always thinking about sex, men will use whatever they can think of to manipulate their way into some "chick's" pants."
There seems to be some credence to these generalizations, but don't hold this against someone before there is reason. Certainly, people need to act on red flags, but not on paranoia or previous grievances (easier said than done). Not all of the male gender warrant having such generalizations applied to them. Not all are manipulative, liars, and other disparaging labels.
As someone who has been privy to women's stories of abuse (during childhood or as an adult), it crosses my mind when developing a relationship, that the individual may have had some level of abuse or negative situations occur. It also crosses my mind that I have an uphill battle to break their view of men that has been ruined by some sack-of-shit-of-a-man. There are stereotypes that I need to break.
There are opportunities that I've turned down, or shied away from in order to avoid "being that guy". Walking away (not easy) in order to prove to them and myself that sex isn't all that I'm about. That I haven't developed some level of connection in order to get a quick "hit n' run".
This has also blown up in my face. It has resulted in the individual thinking that they are undesirable, or that there is something wrong with me. Maybe making them infer that I lack confidence or that I'm too nervous or scared to act when an invitation of physical connection has been given. It creates confusion, resulting in killing the mood, and damaging their view of me.
I'm not entirely sure what to do about this, and still trying to work this out in my head.
I'm trying to get this off my chest and thus may not make much sense. This also contains quite a few assumptions on my part, and acknowledge my ignorance in the various areas of this topic.
I'll be editing and adding to this soon. It's something that I wish to delve into, and for others to consider and respond (even though I have nil readers).
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The Reader
In the movie "The Reader", a statement was made during a heart felt conversation between professor and student. The professor said something along the lines of, "It isn't our emotions, but what we do." Not verbatim, but something like that.
The meaning that I got out of it was, it's not what we feel, but what we do that matters. The context was the point of existence within the deeds done in one's life. It could be applied to a much broader framework such as the philosophical understanding of the meaning of life. I don't think that is what the professor meant, but I move on.
It isn't our feelings, nor our emotion's; it is what we do. This make sense on it's own, though there are applications of this sentiment that runs into a paradox. In fictional writing, it is our emotions that drive the creation of the story. It is the inspiration from the words of others that impact the reader. It is this impact from emotion that indicates the importance of emotions. It isn't simply the act of writing that makes it valuable. Though, it is the work done that makes a story tangible. It is the doing that leaves a mark and gives meaning to one's life. In other words, there is weight to both the emotions, as well as the actions of the individual.
I'm not necessarily pushing towards a point, or trying to argue against the statements of the professor, but trying to splice out the deeper meaning. It begs further contemplations then just face value.
It's a good movie.
imdb
apple trailer
The meaning that I got out of it was, it's not what we feel, but what we do that matters. The context was the point of existence within the deeds done in one's life. It could be applied to a much broader framework such as the philosophical understanding of the meaning of life. I don't think that is what the professor meant, but I move on.
It isn't our feelings, nor our emotion's; it is what we do. This make sense on it's own, though there are applications of this sentiment that runs into a paradox. In fictional writing, it is our emotions that drive the creation of the story. It is the inspiration from the words of others that impact the reader. It is this impact from emotion that indicates the importance of emotions. It isn't simply the act of writing that makes it valuable. Though, it is the work done that makes a story tangible. It is the doing that leaves a mark and gives meaning to one's life. In other words, there is weight to both the emotions, as well as the actions of the individual.
I'm not necessarily pushing towards a point, or trying to argue against the statements of the professor, but trying to splice out the deeper meaning. It begs further contemplations then just face value.
It's a good movie.
imdb
apple trailer
Saturday, December 27, 2008
The IT Crowd & Spaced
I've been eating up episodes of various UK comedic sitcoms. I would like to share a couple of shows with you fine folks.
First one that I can't get enough of is Spaced. It is directed by Edgar Wright. The same director of Shawn of the Dead & Hot Fuzz. If you haven't seen those movies, you're doing something wrong. They're brilliant. Edgar likes to put a ton of references into his shows and movies, so if you're a movie buff then his stuff is right up your ally.
Oh, yeah, Spaced is about two 20-somethings who find themselves searching for a flat. They join forces and lie about being a professional couple in order to get this great flat. There are other tenets that we come to know and love.
Instead of writing out the synopsis, I'll link to the wikipedia entry.
It's written by Simon Pegg (who plays Tim) & Jessica Stevenson (plays Daisy)
Very funny. Unfortunatly the show has ended, and they recently released the DVD here in the States. You can search for parts of the show on youtube and snipits at the Channel 4 site to see if you like.
The other show that I wish to mention, and one that has become quite popular in the UK and already started growing a sizeable fanbase in the US is The IT Crowd (wikipedia and/or Channel 4). Basically its two IT (information tech) geeks/nerds that find themselves with a supervisor that is dumb as a rock when it comes to a computer. They learn to get along, and stuggle with surviving the daily grind. It's good stuff and great laughs. There three seasons deep and don't show any signs of slowing down. It's probably important to mention that it's produced by Ash Atalla who was the producer on The Office (the UK version).
I'm sure that if you watch some of the streams out there on the internet that you'll get hooked like me.
Alright, since I'm lazy and I'm sure you are too, here are some vids.
The IT Crowd - Season 1 - Ep 1
Spaced - Series 1 - Ep 3
First one that I can't get enough of is Spaced. It is directed by Edgar Wright. The same director of Shawn of the Dead & Hot Fuzz. If you haven't seen those movies, you're doing something wrong. They're brilliant. Edgar likes to put a ton of references into his shows and movies, so if you're a movie buff then his stuff is right up your ally.
Oh, yeah, Spaced is about two 20-somethings who find themselves searching for a flat. They join forces and lie about being a professional couple in order to get this great flat. There are other tenets that we come to know and love.
Instead of writing out the synopsis, I'll link to the wikipedia entry.
It's written by Simon Pegg (who plays Tim) & Jessica Stevenson (plays Daisy)
Very funny. Unfortunatly the show has ended, and they recently released the DVD here in the States. You can search for parts of the show on youtube and snipits at the Channel 4 site to see if you like.
The other show that I wish to mention, and one that has become quite popular in the UK and already started growing a sizeable fanbase in the US is The IT Crowd (wikipedia and/or Channel 4). Basically its two IT (information tech) geeks/nerds that find themselves with a supervisor that is dumb as a rock when it comes to a computer. They learn to get along, and stuggle with surviving the daily grind. It's good stuff and great laughs. There three seasons deep and don't show any signs of slowing down. It's probably important to mention that it's produced by Ash Atalla who was the producer on The Office (the UK version).
I'm sure that if you watch some of the streams out there on the internet that you'll get hooked like me.
Alright, since I'm lazy and I'm sure you are too, here are some vids.
The IT Crowd - Season 1 - Ep 1
Spaced - Series 1 - Ep 3
A little change in format
It's been awhile since I've posted on my blog, and it bugs me. It bugs me when people just leave a blog to stall and die. It just sits there on the internet like an old computer sits on the shelf. Either get rid of it, or do something with it.
With that in mind, I'm changing up the format a bit. I enjoy keeping track of politics and government, but I don't bump into enough information first hand to really post anything of worth that way. I'm sure when I get my classes started, and it's apart of my daily routine then I'll have more to talk about. I don't want to wait that long to post something of value.
I'm going to make it a more of a mash up of what interests me on any given moment. I won't post just random jabberings, but things I would tell friends and co-workers. "Hey, you should check this out." That kind of thing.
Music is one of those things that I'll mention and people will say, "I've never heard of that". They'll give it a listen and find that they like it (or hate it). Warms my heart.
Econmics and Politics, is something I'll try to post on, but I'm not going to post anything that you'll find on the front page of CNN.com or something. There is no reason for an off-the-radar blog to post stuff that's already all over the web. I'll try to link and comment on articles and blogs that have something interesting to contribute. Get the word out on those that have something to say.
They'll be other stuff, but just wanted to get a post down, and a notice of changes. Not that I get any traffic on this thing. It's more for the experience of writing and posting in a blog format (is there a format for these things?).
Alright, that is it.
With that in mind, I'm changing up the format a bit. I enjoy keeping track of politics and government, but I don't bump into enough information first hand to really post anything of worth that way. I'm sure when I get my classes started, and it's apart of my daily routine then I'll have more to talk about. I don't want to wait that long to post something of value.
I'm going to make it a more of a mash up of what interests me on any given moment. I won't post just random jabberings, but things I would tell friends and co-workers. "Hey, you should check this out." That kind of thing.
Music is one of those things that I'll mention and people will say, "I've never heard of that". They'll give it a listen and find that they like it (or hate it). Warms my heart.
Econmics and Politics, is something I'll try to post on, but I'm not going to post anything that you'll find on the front page of CNN.com or something. There is no reason for an off-the-radar blog to post stuff that's already all over the web. I'll try to link and comment on articles and blogs that have something interesting to contribute. Get the word out on those that have something to say.
They'll be other stuff, but just wanted to get a post down, and a notice of changes. Not that I get any traffic on this thing. It's more for the experience of writing and posting in a blog format (is there a format for these things?).
Alright, that is it.
Monday, November 17, 2008
An interesting article on last minute federal regulation
Tripped over an article on the last minute federal regulation coming out of the oval office on the Colorado Independent.
"It’s something of a tradition — administrations using their final weeks in power to ram through a slew of federal regulations. With the election grabbing the headlines, outgoing federal bureaucrats quietly propose and finalize rules that can affect the health and safety of millions."
Check out the whole article as it covers the basics on the changes that are in the works at this very minute.
The midnight deregulation express
by Matthew Blake"It’s something of a tradition — administrations using their final weeks in power to ram through a slew of federal regulations. With the election grabbing the headlines, outgoing federal bureaucrats quietly propose and finalize rules that can affect the health and safety of millions."
Check out the whole article as it covers the basics on the changes that are in the works at this very minute.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Trying to remain on top of things...
Last few days have been filled with talk about Obama winning the presidency and what that means for the country. That first 100 days or whatever initial time period they choose. I wasn't as interested in who won as much as the interest that this presidential race had stirred up. People were discussing politics everywhere. Conversations about health care, and economic issues. Discussing international happenings, and the two wars the U.S is involved in. And everything else under the sun was brought up in respect to how either of the candidates would address it. Which was the more qualified individual.
It was great to hear that people were takling about more serious topics than just what happened on the last episode of 'Lost' or 'Heros'.
But! The race is over, and a winner has been announced. Now the pressure is on the President, but that doesn't mean our jobs as citizens of the U.S is over. There is still the responsability to remain informed and be apart of our political system. Its not a choose, and walk away. American politics isn't an auto pilot. We don't just press a button and hope for the best. Though, that seems to be the general attitude.
That attitude is what allows politics and politicians in this country to go astray. We vote and elect someone to represent us, the people. We make up a group of constituants that are represented by various offices, on a city, county, state, and federal level. They represent us! They represent you. Though, they have more than just the want of the people pulling at them. They have pressure from what must like an endless number of groups and organizations. And as citizens, if we don't speak up and remain involved like so many were during the election, no matter what party majority we have, we won't have the outcome that we are looking for as a society.
With that being said, it is obvious that people are divided by their opinions on what the outcome should look like, and how we can accomplish it. This isn't a bad thing. It allows for a flow of ideas that will clash and compete. Compitition of ideas in order to find the strongest among them.
But! If people's interests in the political process and happenings fade, there won't be that contest. There won't be the voice of the people to be heard by that official trying to represent a group of people. They will only have groups and organizations to listen to. Still a level of compitition, but not neccisarily representing the will of the people. It'll be the will of corporations and groups that have their own agenda.
To summerize my thoughts, stay abreast of the politics that affect you. Council members, mayors, govoners, state house and congress officials, national house and congress. Know what they do and how they vote. If you're not happy, let them know. Write them a letter, or call the office. Make sure the citzenry as a whole is heard and represented.
It was great to hear that people were takling about more serious topics than just what happened on the last episode of 'Lost' or 'Heros'.
But! The race is over, and a winner has been announced. Now the pressure is on the President, but that doesn't mean our jobs as citizens of the U.S is over. There is still the responsability to remain informed and be apart of our political system. Its not a choose, and walk away. American politics isn't an auto pilot. We don't just press a button and hope for the best. Though, that seems to be the general attitude.
That attitude is what allows politics and politicians in this country to go astray. We vote and elect someone to represent us, the people. We make up a group of constituants that are represented by various offices, on a city, county, state, and federal level. They represent us! They represent you. Though, they have more than just the want of the people pulling at them. They have pressure from what must like an endless number of groups and organizations. And as citizens, if we don't speak up and remain involved like so many were during the election, no matter what party majority we have, we won't have the outcome that we are looking for as a society.
With that being said, it is obvious that people are divided by their opinions on what the outcome should look like, and how we can accomplish it. This isn't a bad thing. It allows for a flow of ideas that will clash and compete. Compitition of ideas in order to find the strongest among them.
But! If people's interests in the political process and happenings fade, there won't be that contest. There won't be the voice of the people to be heard by that official trying to represent a group of people. They will only have groups and organizations to listen to. Still a level of compitition, but not neccisarily representing the will of the people. It'll be the will of corporations and groups that have their own agenda.
To summerize my thoughts, stay abreast of the politics that affect you. Council members, mayors, govoners, state house and congress officials, national house and congress. Know what they do and how they vote. If you're not happy, let them know. Write them a letter, or call the office. Make sure the citzenry as a whole is heard and represented.
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